The following is a fairly typical online description of an organization. See what you think of it.
About Our Company
“Broaden Your Printing Horizons”
Perched on the cutting edge of publishing instrument technology, ABC responds to the speed of change. We are very proud to offer a catalog of sleek, award-winning printers designed to satisfy your every printing desire. To best serve our clients, we have assembled an accomplished team of synergetic sales associates and customer service agents to assist you in every step of your ABC Experience, beginning the moment you decide to order one of our printers. With employees spread across three continents and a long tradition of building state-of-the-art office machinery, you will find ABC is a company of innovation, always thinking outside the printer box.
I’ve worked for a CEO or two who would have absolutely loved this (especially if I could have worked in the word “transformational”). Have you? It sounds great at first pass—all those buzzwords: synergetic, state of the art, innovation, outside the box, cutting edge. But what does it say?
- There’s a catalog. And they’re proud to offer it.
- Salespeople will help you, but after you decide to order.
- “Publishing instrument technology” might mean anything; it’s quite the jargon.
Here’s the source. Be sure to look in the upper right corner of the page. Then let me know: Could this be a parody of your organization’s writing style?
P.S. Here is the perfect how- to-make-a-corporate-video-without-saying-anything example.