I would describe the trouble with much corporate writing as the Toddler Syndrome: It’s all about me, me, me. The audience (and communication) is irrelevant. Best Buy offers a perfect example:
MINNEAPOLIS, Sept. 26, 2007 – Best Buy Co., Inc. (NYSE: BBY) today announced changes in its leadership team intended to strengthen the company’s ability to draw insights from employees, customers and partners in order to provide excellent customer experiences and solutions; provide clear accountability for each element of the enterprise’s growth strategy; and place leaders with strong points of view on how to generate growth in roles where they can bring those ideas to life. Unless otherwise noted, all changes are now in effect.
Seventy words in that first sentence, and what does it really say? It says that while the company may recognize some weaknesses in its management structure, it’s not quite ready to come clean about them. So how much faith can we have in the “clear accountability” promised?